First of all, I'm not Saint Peter and....

A cattleman from West Texas died & went on to the Great
Beyond. As he approached the great gate, he noticed that the
terrain was bare with no greenery. He remarked to the gate
keeper, "Howdy Saint Peter. Say, this looks just like Texas."

"The gatekeeper replied, "First of all, I'm not Saint Peter and
second, you really don't know where you are at all, do you ?"